MST-OPOLY

Here blends all the wholesome fun of Parker Brothers' best selling board game and Best Brain's award winning Cowtown Puppet Show. "Monopoly" and "Mystery Science Theater 3000" are both copyrighted to their respective owners, and no harm is intended or profit made from this creation. 

HISTORY: Oh, yeah, right. Like you really care. I'm a great admirer of MST3K, and I have no negative feelings towards Monopoly. So, during one of the many long dry spells between filming scenes of my own Mystery Science Theater episode, I came up with the rules and items for this board game. 

OBJECT: Well, to RULE THE WORLD of course! (Or at least the world as defined by the parameters of the playing board). You've just incorporated your own cable movie station. Now you need some movies to show on it. Circle the board buying up various B-movie "classics" to air over and over and over again. Become the only player left with a viable movie empire. 

EQUIPMENT: The playing board, cards for each movie represented on the playing board, character tokens, 44 stars, 11 awards, "Shorts" and "Invention" cards, 2 dice(not included), and play money(also not included). 

WHAT'S DIFFERENT : The "Original Print" cards replace the "Title Deed" cards, "Invention" cards replace "Community Chest" cards, and "Shorts" cards replace "chance" cards. Otherwise, set it up just like a Monopoly board.

PREPERATION : Each player picks a token to represent them. Each player also starts with two $500 bills, two $100s, two $50s, six $20s, five $10s, five $5s, and five $1s = $1500.00

PLAY: Select a banker, Everyone starts on "RENEWED." Roll the dice: highest roll starts. Play progresses counterclockwise from there.

If you land on an unpurchased movie or property, you may buy it from the bank. There are 8 genres (that's a big word meaning "clumps") of movies for you to buy. 

>Eye-I-Aaaiiieee
>70s Shinola
>Russo-Finnished
>Big Rubber Suits
>Spydor!
>Japanacrapamation
>Sequel City
>Worst of the Worst

If you buy all the movies of a genre, you may charge double the broadcast fees (x2) to opponents who land there - assuming the movie is not yet hyped.

If you land on or pass RENEWED, collect $200 from the bank to continue your broadcast day. 
If you land on HIATUS, but haven't been put there by the FCC, then fret not. You've just been pre-empted. No biggie. You'll make up the ad revenue some other time. 
If you land on RERUNS, then you've found a cheap way to make a fast buck. Collect all the cash sitting in the PLOT HOLE. (The center of the board).
THERAPY : Mr B-Natural has caused us all pain. Great pain. And there's no shame in seeking theapy to help sort it all out. How much therapy is enough? Either $200, or 10% of your total net worth. But choose before you add it all up. Send your money down the PLOT HOLE. 
BOT PARTS : You will need hosts on your fledgling network. So build some! You'll find the parts you need at a thrift store or on the internet. Just send the money into the PLOT HOLE. 
INVENTIONS and SHORTS : When you land on one of these squares, draw the appropriate card and do what it says. Any money you pay goes into the PLOT HOLE or to other players, as stipulated. Any money you receive will come from other players, or the BANK. Put the card on the bottom of the appropriate deck when finished. 
FILM SCHOOLS : You can't hype them, unfortunately (why would you want to, though?)  But the more you own, the higher the tuition is for other players who land there. Besides, the bigger the class load these directors have, the less time they will spend making movies.... right?
LAIRS - Every mad scientist (or happy robot) needs a place away from it all. And if any smoochers come onto your property, fine 'em! 4x or 10x their dice roll, depending on if you have 1 or both hide-outs. 

If you own all the movies in a genre, you may also begin HYPING them. You can pay a movie critic (the BANK) to give your movie a STAR rating higher than the "zero" it probably deserves. Each star you buy and place on a movie increases its Broadcast Fee when an opponent lands there. Once your movie has four stars, you can pay (again, the BANK) an awards show to give your movie an AWARD, increasing its payoff even more. 

HINT : "Stars" and "awards" are the same thing as "Houses" and "Hotels." It's MONOPOLY, folks. 

NITPICK : No movie in a genre can have more than a one star difference from any of the other movies in that genre. So no stacking it all on one movie and leaving the others un-hyped. 
You can only buy stars and awards during your turn.

MORE RULES - Roll doubles and you get another turn immediately. 
Roll three doubles in a row and the feds will investigate you for cheating - your network (represented by your token) goes ON HIATUS. On your next turn, you can either roll doubles to get out, or bribe (er... donate to) the FCC to let you back on the air. If you haven't rolled doubles after 3 turns on Hiatus, then then you've missed the clue train. Put $50 in the PLOT HOLE and get outa here. You can still charge the other players broadcast fees for your shows if you are on hiatus, but you can't hype any of them, or pull them out of syndication.  If you won't spend the money to get off the FCC's naughty list, then you won't be spending it anywhere else either. 

MORTGAGES and SYNDICATION : running low on cash? You can hock your treasures back to the BANK for half their value. You can sell off stars and awards (also for half price) - but they remain sold, not mortgaged. When you regain your footing, you'll have to start buying them all over again. You can buy back your mortgages and syndication rights from the bank at MORTGAGE PRICE + 10%

NITPICK #2 - you can't syndicate a movie if ANY film in that genre still has stars or awards on it. First sell off your stars, then you can syndicate the shows.  

ON THE SIDE : Only the person who lands on a movie or property has the option of buying it from the bank. However, players may buy and sell UNHYPED property from each other at any time, for any amount they think they can get away with. But again - if any film in a genre is hyped in any way, you cannot sell it or ANY OTHER film from that set. You can buy and sell each other's mortgaged or syndicated items, but they remain mortgaged. The new owner is then responsible for paying back the bank. 

LOSING - Once you have syndicated away your entire film library and other holdings, and have no money left, you have no choice but to give it all up, and resign yourself to waiting for "Celebrity Fear Factor" to call. All your properties then go back to the BANK, to tempt the remaining MSTopoly players. 

WINNING - The game continues until all but one player is driven off the airwaves. If that's you, you WIN!

ANYTHING ELSE - Find any rules I missed? Then refer back to the original Monopoly standards. 

HAVE FUN - Repeat to yourself, it's just a game. I should really just relax.