Alright!

No more beating about the bush. You've had to click twice to get here, and that is as much as any web designer should allow. So with much pride may I present to you

MST-OPOLY

Did I tell you it was super cool? And isn't it?

Well I think it is anyway, and whose webpage are you reading? Yours or Mine?.... that's what I thought.

A lot of time and effort went into this. Just check out some of the detail.

Let's go through some of the WITWBFAQ* shall we?

How does it feel to be so clever and creative?

Well, mom, you and dad had a lot to do with that, of course. Oh look, some other, actually relevant questions.

"-opoly" ? So it is just like Monopoly?

No. Not just like. I use z-grade movies instead of properties, and film schools instead of railroads and hexes instead of rectangles for board spaces... and so on. But the basic game mechanics are based pretty firmly on Monopoly rules.

So the object of the game is...?

TO RULE THE WORLD! Or at least television cable movie channel portion of it anyway.

But how?

You win by buying as many really bad movies as you can. And then showing them over and over and over and over and... you know, just like real life cable movie channels. Other cable station owners (the other players) will periodically need filler for their own budding networks and ask to borrow (land on) one of your cinematic properties. Then you get to charge them.

What about houses and hotels?

Obviously you can't put a house on an original print of Mighty Jack... as much as we all might want to. But you can "pay" a movie reviewer to give your movies STARS. Up to four stars to be exact, which would be up to four more than most of these are worth. And then when your movie gets enough stars, you can pony up some more cash to rig an AWARD show to give your prize pile of celuloid the honor some other film so richly deserved.

What about tokens? Can I be the Iron?

Sure, if you want. I recomend something a little grander. But I also include with the game a collection of counters based on the characters of Mystery Science Theater 3000. (Some Assembly required)

And property deeds?

Instead of streets, you get the deed to the original print of Earth vs the Spider. Or whatever other film you land on and want to buy.

I included a whole set of these cards too. Plus cards for SHORTS and INVENTIONS, which would take the place of "Chance" and "Community Chest" from the original Monopoly game.

You keep saying you "included" things in your game? Where are they? For that matter, where is any of it?

A-ha! the all important question. "How do I get this wondrous game?"

Right now the game (except for my copy) is a series of 1's and 0's inside a server somewhere south of Oshkosh. It is composed of 7 files. Five of them are .pdf files. They contain:

(1) the film Deeds (double sided color)

(2&3) the Cards (double sided B/W)

(4) the Game Pieces (single sided color)

(5) The Stars and Awards (single sided color)

File six is an .rtf of the MST-opoly rules.

The seventh file is the gameboard. It is in Adobe Photoshop format. It is a very large file for a very large board. (27"x27") The file is about 14 Mb in size. Or for you do-it-yourselfers, there are eight board segments (.pdf again) you can print out instead and assemble at your leisure.

So I download these files. And then what?

Then you print them out. You can either use your own printer for free, or take it to a print shop and have them do it on fancy heavy paper for a little bit more money than free. I took these files to Quik Print and had the cards and deeds and stars and tokens printed on card stock. The board I splurged on and had it made of the indoor banner material. PRICEY! But you can use the "Cut Board" files and print them on LEGAL sized paper or cardstock for a lot less.

What's the deal with the page full of game pieces?

Cut along the outlines of each piece. Fold along the dotted line in the middle. They make nice little tents you can walk around the board. Or glue the backs of the pics together with a toothpick or something similar sticking out of the bottom. Then stick the toothpick or eye-screw in a wooden or styrafoam base of your own choosing. (I bought mine at Michaels Hobby store - 99¢ for 6). Paint the bases if you feel like.

Wow, you sure have gone through a lot of trouble.

Yeah, I suppose so.

Why did you do it?

Like so many of my projects over the years. It starts with a "wouldn't it be neat if". That idea usually sits unattended for several months to several years, and then a sudden burst of energy will come from nowhere and compel me to make it happen. Why do I do it? Because I can - because I want to - and because noone else will.

And I get all this. All the fruits of your labor. For nothing?

*AHEM*

No. Not for nothing. I will not charge any money for this, since nothing MST3K related is mine from which to profit.

For the record, everthing related to Mystery Science Theater is copyright Best Brains and is used without their permission. But with no intention of harm or diminishment.

Having said that, there is one thing I WOULD like in exchange.

IF you download this game and play it, I would like to know what you thought. Good or bad. Praise or problem. Hey folks.... - YES YOU! - Send me an email. That is the price I ask for my efforts. One email from you telling me what you thought. I would like to think that is a small price, but after 10 years on the web in one from or another I know better. That is why I am asking you now - asking you THREE TIMES. Please send me a note - as long or short as you like - you telling another member of the MST community what you thought of his efforts. Thank you.

My email address is acyn@cox.net

And now the files.

*What I Think Will Be Frequently Asked Questions.